The best thing you can do is forgive yourself. When you realize you are hurting, consciously forgive yourself.
Heal yourself. You’re the only person that can.
You’re not a child anymore. You are smarter now. You have more experience. You realize you aren’t what they say about you. That mean people are just reflections of their inner demons.
You are constantly changing and growing. Forgive yourself so you can evolve on futile ground. So you can have a clean slate to play.